


Should Have Used Plexi

by Reioka



Series: Flash Fics [16]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Comedy, Flash Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Incompetent Villains, M/M, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-07-10 14:01:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15950831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reioka/pseuds/Reioka
Summary: Dinner's ruined and now Bucky can't even get a decent fight out of it.





	Should Have Used Plexi

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the sentence prompt: "If you die, I'm going to kill you."

Should Have Used Plexi

 

Tony knocked on the glass, frowning. “You okay, Buckaroo?”

 

“Yeah,” Bucky wheezed, one hand clutched over the bullet hole in his thigh.

 

“If you die, I’m going to kill you,” Tony warned. “So you better not be lying to me.”

 

Bucky lifted his head to glare at him incredulously. “When have I ever lied to you about having a fatal injury!?”

 

“I don’t know!” Tony exclaimed defensively. “You’re an incredibly good liar!”

 

“Well just for your information, I have lied exactly zero times about my injuries, both fatal and non,” Bucky informed him sharply, then hissed, dropping his head back onto the floor. “Fuck.”

 

Tony went up on his toes so he could try and see better, but couldn’t really see much with the way the glass wall was angled. “So your healing factor is still working?”

 

“Well, I haven’t bled out,” Bucky replied sarcastically.

 

Tony scowled at him. “You’re being very rude, you know. It’s not my fault we got kidnapped by AIM.”

 

“I asked you to plan one date. One!” Bucky barked, leaning up to glare at him again. “And you couldn’t tell that you were making it at a known AIM hangout?!”

 

“Oh, there it is,” Tony sighed, rolling his eyes. He turned and crossed his arms, leaning back against the glass. After a moment, he sighed again, sliding down the glass to sit on the cement floor. “Sorry I’m the worst boyfriend you’ve ever had.”

 

“You’re the only boyfriend I’ve ever had,” Bucky mumbled, pulling his hand away from the wound to look at it. It was healing up pretty well. It was a clean shot through the meat of his thigh. “Forties weren’t really big on homosexuals being open about it.”

 

Tony huffed, leaning forward so he could lean his chin on his hand. “Well, sorry I’ve fucked up being your first boyfriend. Your next one will be better.”

 

Bucky sighed and rubbed his metal hand over his face. “Tony…”

 

“I told you I wasn’t good at this,” Tony said sharply. “ _Everyone_  told you. It’s not like I went into this thinking it was going to last forever.”

 

Bucky didn’t let the comment hurt him. He might have, before, but now he’d known Tony long enough to know that he lashed out to protect himself, hurting others to push them away before they could hurt him. He stood up from the floor and grimaced, but he didn’t topple over, so he focused on making his way toward the glass wall between them. Reassuring him could wait until they were safe. Right now they needed to get out of the AIM facility.

 

“…Don’t know why I even bothered,” Tony mumbled, frowning, and picked at a loose string in his slacks. “I should have just had Pepper handle it. She was always better at that sort of thing.”

 

“Doll, don’t take this the wrong way,” Bucky sighed, and Tony jumped, jerking away from the glass to spin toward him. “But I really, really don’t want your ex-girlfriend planning our dates.”

 

“Pepper wouldn’t sabotage us!” Tony exclaimed defensively.

 

Bucky snorted. “Yeah, you do that well enough without her help. Move back, sweetheart.”

 

Tony retreated obediently even as he retorted, “Well, I can’t help it if I’m a bad boyfriend. I’ve only ever had one really lasting relationship and it endED IN FLAMES WHAT ARE YOU DOING–”

 

Bucky punched through the glass with his metal fist. Even  _he_  was startled by the damage he caused, the entire wall shattering apart once he’d made the first crack in it. He stared at all the shards of glass on the floor for a minute before looking back up at Tony.

 

Tony looked offended, disgusted, and incredibly underwhelmed. Bucky smiled a little. It was a good look on him.

 

“They couldn’t even–use plexiglass? I’m. I’m going to sue. I’m going to sue AIM for being incompetent,” Tony sputtered after a moment. “Is that allowed? Can I sue my abductors for being bad at their jobs?”

 

“Well, they abducted you pretty well,” Bucky mused, reaching out for his waist and pulling him in so he could check for injuries. “It was just the ‘keeping you captive’ thing that they sucked at.”

 

“I! Am so upset!” Tony exclaimed angrily. “Fucking actual glass? YOU HAVE A METAL ARM.”

 

“They didn’t know my metal arm could punch through glass,” Bucky said reasonably. Tony only had a little bruising around his wrists. Good.

 

“ _I_  COULD HAVE PUNCHED THROUGH THE GLASS!” Tony bellowed, incensed.

 

Bucky hooked his metal arm under Tony’s thighs, lifting him up off the ground so he wouldn’t step on the glass. He didn’t trust Tony’s loafers to protect him as well as Bucky’s heavy boots. “Yeah, but then you woulda been scratched up all to hell and back,” he pointed out.

 

“How could they insult me like this! I need a weapon. This is like, the  _basics_  of abduction,” Tony continued angrily. “I’ll make them regret underestimating me.”

 

Bucky kicked the door to the room off its hinges. It wasn’t hard. The AIM agent standing guard outside actually dropped his gun, staring at them in terror.

 

Bucky stared back before saying, “Okay, yeah, sue them.” Then he slammed the AIM agent into the wall and let him drop like a sack of potatoes. “Pretty sure they’re not underestimating you, if that helps, doll. Seems like they’re just woefully unprepared for… literally anything. Fucking useless. They could at least give me a workout for making me miss out on dinner.”

 

Tony took the gun that Bucky handed to him. “Well, while you were looking at the menu, I was looking up Yelp reviews, and it turns out the service was great but the food sucked, so they probably actually saved both of us from being attached to the toilet with food poisoning.”

 

“So what you’re saying is, this is a better date than the one we would have had at the diner,” Bucky surmised, jogging down the hall. He  _could_  put Tony down, but he liked being able to feel his butt, and he could move faster than Tony, too.

 

“I mean… kinda? Probably,” Tony said after a moment.

 

Bucky jerked to a stop when a group of AIM soldiers came bursting out another door. Then one of them tripped with a yelp, landing on his face, and the other soldiers couldn’t stop in time and fell over him.

 

“I can’t fucking believe this,” Tony breathed, seething. “Put me down at once or I will shoot you.”

 

Bucky seriously thought about not putting him down, but Tony probably  _would_ shoot him at this point, so he did so.

 

He sent a Snapchat to Natasha of him taking a selfie while Tony kicked one of the AIM soldiers in the ribs, captioning it, “Doll’s yelling about suing them for incompetency and I think he’d win.”

 

Natasha sent back a Snapchat of Bruce and Sam crying with laughter, captioned, “Why can’t you guys have normal dates??? IS2G.”


End file.
